Because of You’s, I am awake at 1:30 am and I couldn’t be more ecstatic!
I want you all to know how amazed and excited I am right now to share this testimony with you! Let this show you how real God’s love is. He used ALL OF YOU to speak to me today, well, tonight. Ah! I’m so excited! He is just so amazing and continuously blows my mind. Okay, here’s what happened…
So, first, you should know that in the past 2 months I have been sick with probably like 4-5 different illnesses and so have my 4 children. We have all just been passing around illness after illness, even after taking all those necessary steps to get rid of germs. We just couldn’t shake them all. Needless to say, it put me in a bit of a slump and I haven’t written a single thing until RIGHT NOW.
I have had a few other things going on, other than catching every sickness the kids’ daycare has to offer. All of these “inconveniences” have sidetracked me a little bit and I feel like I haven’t even been able to think about something to write, which means I’m not even going to sit down and try. Here is an audio clip of the conversation Logan and I had tonight. I try to explain how I go from the “Yes, I want to be great!” person, to the “I am now depressed.” person.
Once I realized that I was more overwhelmed than joyful, I knew what I hadn’t been doing (spending time with God, seeking Him) and what I needed to do (tell Him I’m ready to talk again, I need Him).
I tend to do this quite often… ↓
Ya know, the feel miserable for a week or two and then remember I have God to talk to; that when I think He is silent, maybe it’s actually the other way around, non-sense.
I call this, “My Comfort Zone of Nothing, Pretty Much”. I get in this zone by feeling numb. I believe it’s one of my defense mechanisms. The numbness keeps me from getting too low, yet, at the same time, it keeps me from experiencing true joy. When I realize that I am not expressing any kind of emotion, I know that I need to get back in Gods word.
Anyways, those moments are happening less and less.
I asked God yesterday to show me what He wants me to write about. Can He please tell me what it is that He wants me to do. Write or don’t write? Like, why did I start a blog to just stop writing within the first 2 weeks? Didn’t I start this blog with a mission? And not just any mission, but a mission that I felt God had put on my heart. I can’t let the enemy take this away from me and His purpose. I’m ready to listen and let His will be done in my life. So, I turned the song Hosanna by Hillsong United on and I worshiped Him. I just gave Him my cares. I laid my burdens at His feet and let Him know that I was listening again; eyes reading His truth, heart wide-open and ready for change, and ears waiting to hear His voice.
Within 24 hours, He shows His work and talks to me. And He did it through all of you. Remember how I said that I hadn’t written a single article in the last two weeks or so? Well, during my “down” time, I didn’t have any new views, comments, likes, or follows on the articles I had already published. THEN, all of a sudden (today!), I start receiving notification after notification on my phone from WordPress and I’m thinking, ‘What is going on?!’. I close every notification I receive all day long and then finally take a second to swipe left on my home screen to check out the WP widget I have.
I couldn’t believe my eyes!
I go from zero (0) visitors a day to sixty-two (62). Thirty-one (31) hourly views compared to an average of zero (0). How does that happen and why?! The only explanation I have is God.
It’s like He is saying to me, ‘Look at what I can do when you haven’t written anything in weeks. Can you imagine what I will do when you start trusting me and just simply write what I place in your heart?’.
I hear you, God. Loud and clear. You have my attention and focus. You are in control of my life and I trust you. Thank you for always being right by my side, even when I decide to go silent, and stop seeking you.
How awesome is He?! If you feel like God is giving you the silent treatment, take a moment and ask yourself if you are the one being quiet. He is listening.
I would love to hear some of your own personal stories and experiences. If you have any feedback, fill out the form below.