The Reason Why I Cannot Process a Single Thought

And the award for “Most annoying, mind blocking song of the day” goes to..*drum roll*..Baby Shark by Super Simple Songs! *mom screams*

My soon-to-be 3 year old is obsessed, and I mean ear-cringing obsessed, with this YouTube channel called Super Simple Songs. They post videos of animated mice, itsy-bitsy spiders and *now holding breath because I think it will take away my thoughts of this next one..quenching jaw..exhale* baby sharks singing different nursery rhymes and other “simple songs”.  The worst one is this baby shark song. If you know what I am talking about right now, my deepest, deepest empathy goes out to you. I feel your pain!
25 mins later, and I am trying to regain my thoughts from even the above paragraph after he decided to have a melt down because I wouldn’t replay the damn shark song! So, I put him to bed and now I am listening to my 7 year old daughter fart while she is eating a frosty and making her other brother laugh, which is causing him to spit out little splats of his frosty all over my laptop. Should I just throw my hands in the air and give up now?

I mean, yeah, I definitely could. I could be mad and just spit out harsh, unnecessarily stern words..OR..I could do what I am doing now and just continue to stare at my screen and type, trying really hard not to even crack the slightest smile so I can look annoyed when I really want to bust out laughing. Wait. Re-read that last sentence. Do you see what the problem is? Why do I feel like I need to be annoyed rather than laugh about it?

 – Pause – I had to laugh. 🙂 It was too gross not to laugh! lol.– Play – But why would I think that way? Why do we want our children or any child to think we are annoyed? Why can’t we just laugh with them?

I don’t have the answer to any of those questions. Hell, I didn’t even plan on this writing session to lead anywhere, I was just writing. Isn’t it crazy and amazing how much we can learn about ourselves and our thought processes when we write or talk about something that is going through our minds? We don’t need someone standing over our shoulders to tell us whether we should think about our actions or not. We are the only ones responsible for ourselves, right?

Our actions come from all kinds of different places: the past, hurt, love, trauma, loss..the list goes on. We have good characteristics and some not so good ones, however, we CAN change those. I do things all the time that I don’t like. When I notice them, I try to figure out why I acted that way or why I got so defensive for no reason. I have come to learn some of my roots, the deep roots of underlying and “pushed to the side” emotions. And all we have to do is have a desire to dig down into our souls and deal with those feelings (which could take days, months, years) and then be able to move on to the next.

This is how we grow. We first have to notice the problems. We have to hold ourselves accountable and start pointing out the things we would like to change or that we think could be improved. You CANNOT take a step back, look at yourself and admit your flaws if you have pride. If you think you can, you are wrong..dead wrong. I have very little pride. Now I’m not saying that the pinnacle of pride doesn’t pop up every now and then, but I will say that I am the FIRST person to admit my “areas of opportunity”. I don’t leave it up to anyone else. Why would I? So, I’m supposed to leave it up to everyone else in this world to point out my flaws? Ha! You’re kidding me, right? This reminds me of that song by Limp Biscuit called Break Stuff (I think). He says, “It’s all about the he said, she said bullshit.” And that is exactly what causes people to get so butt hurt when someone says something about them. If we could all just look at ourselves first and actually make an effort to change the parts of ourselves that need improvement (we all have them), then no one would be able to say a damn word to us! Why? Because if you recognize it, you can change it before it is even recognized by anyone else.

Phew!

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Do you look at your own actions the way that I do or are you the one pointing the finger at others?

I will be looking into why I tried to be annoyed by my children instead of just laughing with them. That really bothers me. As soon as I know or have further insight as to why, I will let you all know! Wish me luck.

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